Raising some one else's child.

I wish I knew how to put the music in the background.

Your mission, should you choose to accept is, is to determine if it is safe for Julien to go to a bonfire on Sunday night. This tape will self distrust in 30 seconds.

Ask the obvious- who will be there? Who is this person? Tiffany's sister Megan. No real answers. I can't just leave it at that.

I really do trust Julien. I just don't trust many of the young women here.
This is where I realize that as much as we adore Julein he is not our own. He had doen things differntly, and so have we. We need to work in the middle somewhere.

I don't mean any of that in a bad way. It's just that with my own kids, it works a little different. Let me give you an example.

Beth knows she is getting a party invite. Usually she'll tell me before the date is known. Then she'll invite the girl or boy over so I can get to know them or, she'll make sure I get an introduction at school.

Zach usually makes an excuse to have the friend walk over after school, even if they can't stay long. He'll be sure to mention the new friend several times. He'll talk about something he likes about them, or something he thinks I'll like about them, before the..."Can I please go over to so and so's house?"

I'm not saying they are right, but they do have an understanding that I will call and check up and It's just easier to call when you have a picture of someone in your mind. If you already see them as a funny, happy, good person, it is much easier to consider a party or get together.

It's kind of like when we got word about Julien being our student for the year. We received the paper work and I'll always laugh at what he wrote.

The question was If a family could choose a student why should they host you. His answer "The could be sure that I man not going to set their house on fire or anything else like this I can affirm them that I am a calm person;-) "

As you can see, knowing something personal about a person can really soften you up a bit. I just hope he knows that the questions I am asking are questions I would ask anyway, and they are.

So last night I tell Julien to have her mother call me. The phone rings once, it's after 10PM. This girl isn't very bright.

I asked my husband if he knew the family. He thinks these are the kids allowed to "drink at home." Bad sign again.

I google the girls name. She is I minor so I don't find any police reports. She is on the summer soft ball league and plays (or use to play) in the school band.

I check out her myspace profile. Blocked. But is says she's from somewhere other than Harvard? Hmmm --to confuse pedophile or parents-- could be either reason.

Okay, I sent out 4 email. Three calls back today. 1 positive 1 neutral the other didn't know the girls. I will call the parents before Julien gets home and chat with them a bit.

It is looking better for him.

I will also mentioned to Julien this morning that he needs to get specific when he want to go somewhere. Who, and with who, for what, where will you be and who else will be there, will you be there the whole time or is this a multiple place thing, when will you go and when do expect to return, how will you get there and how will you get home, why is it that you want to go.

I still need to get the specifics on the football game he plans to go to tonight. I think I'll give him a flash light in case he wants to walk home

It's really interesting about kids. You spend about 8 hours a day away from them and they have total controls of who they talk with and what the do.

I can do my best to keep him safe and out of harms way, but in the long run, if he wants to hang out with someone at school It would be hard to stop.

I asked my husband Jim if he thought I was being overprotective. He said no. "We just don't have enough information to make a decision. If it were our kids, we'd want his parents to be sure to know what was going on"

Good point Jim.

Just a phone call more and I think I can give him an okay, as long as this girl doesn't bug him too late the next few nights.