Retreat! Retreat!

Attention readers... Things will get better after this post. Feel free to surf the net instead of reading this.




The next time I go away I will bring my laptop to blog. I really dislike taking notes in my journal and then having to wrap things up in a coherent fashion onto my blog. My thoughts flow very easily on the keyboard. I have no problem keeping up with my mutitasking, attention deficit disorder mind. But when I write it out longhand, I feel I can only put down key words to get me to remember events. The emotion just doesn't get through. And lets face it my memory sucks, even with key words.

As I pulled up to the grand retreat center, I was still a bit nervous. However, because of my recent restlessness, I thought this might be a welcome change. Phones were to be turned off this weekend. There were team building activities, reading, and oh.. No television or radio. I took on the attitude of "this is just what I needed".

My room was clean, to spite the many hornets gathered by the window. A quick chat with the director got that taken care of.

I made my way down to the conference room and sat at a table with 5 others, who I had the opportunity to talk with the previous meeting. 30 minutes of conversation started. 30 cynical and negative minutes.

"I really cant stand these things, they are soo hokey"
"These teem building exercises just frustrate me"
"Can you believe there isn't a television"
"Are they going to stick to the schedule? There looks like there is way too much activity"
"I really don't feel like being preached to this weekend"
"I've done too many of these"
"I have something more important to do, but I'm here"

Last week, I was impressed and intimidated by this group. My first impression today was disappointment. I understand many employers pay for and send their top people here. Do ya think they know these guys would rather be somewhere else? Well I am right where I want to be. na na na boo boo

I too have taken many motivation courses, and yes, they can sound the same after a while, but that is not the point. You go to learn and grow. I didn't realize the letters after you name or in your title gave you the right to stop learning.

At this point I made the decision to stop feeding the conversation and just write in my journal.

Our director opens the meeting. As he speaks, all I can think of is my own negativism with the organization I now boundary for. I really hope I can learn some skills to be a better boundary in the community.

We started the day with a team building "adventure" group. This is where you are set up with physical challenges and have to work throughout them as a team. The ice breakers were interesting. I found myself isolated right away. That is what I get for being honest.

1. I'm the only October birthday
2. I'm the only one who's favorite food is lazagnia
3. I'm the only one without a favorite sport

We then break off into two groups by the following method:
We are each given a sheet of paper, blindfolded and then need to describe the item on the paper and find like individuals. There were pilots and chefs. I was with he pilot group. It was funny to hear people shout " We have reached an altitude of 30,000 feet" over and over again. Even funnier was the person who said... No you're group isn't here move to the other side of the room!

The next activities that followed were also interesting. We had two engineers who took over the group. They did a really good job of figuring out how to "beet" the games. It was great to have them there to plan strategy. I don't think they realized they were dominating the games. It still worked out okay. I did feel like I was in boyscouts these games.

After each game we went around and asked how people felt about the games and their team and their progress.

Again, more negativism spouted from the mouths of those around me. Eekkk! Get a grip people! Some of us really want to be here.

Two of the games were very interesting. The first was hot lava. Make it from point a to point b connected to on another, and don't go off the markers. Oh ya, blindfold a couple of people in the process. And oh, there aren't enough markers to make it from one end to the other.

One of the members of our group commented on how he had done this once before. It took them three hours, they never made it and it was a bad day... Even for the folks paid to do the seminar. Well it didn't take us that long.

I was the blindfolded person, I have to admit I think it was easier that way... I was just an Indian not a chief -- ya not politically correct but hey! The thing that sucked was the number of people who thought I couldn't do it. Gees I'm blindfolded not deaf! Stop yelling "She'll never make it"

The last activity of the day gave me a chance to grope a good number of people. I wish that my camera hadn't pissed out because it was a really cool thing. The 16 people in our group were told to stand on a balance beam on the ground. We barley fit. After we were all situated, we were told to arrange ourselves in alphabetical order by first name. Don't leave the balance beam otherwise there are censuses. Lucky me, I had to go from one end of the beam to the other!

Now in case you haven't noticed, I don't have any problem with personal space, so it wasn't a big deal to paw and grope my way down the line. There were others who were not quite as comfortable. Most people have a bit larger personal space than I do.
I think the best part was when I told the two men behind me that I needed a bit more room to land on the board. They struggled to find a position that would give us the extra space. I finely just said.. If you guys would spoon, we would all fit! The look mortified and didn't say a word to me. Gees! I did stand next to a woman with very perky oohmm she was perky? Okay you know where I'm going.. I'll stop now.

The personality test came next. We did the 4MAT one. Of course there are many other types, but they choose this one. It want any surprise to find out that I am personality type 4 or expressive or promoter or what ever else you want to call it. I am the "what if" thinker.. no surprise. I'd rather do than plan.

That night, after dinner is was beer and splitting up into our groups-- but not in that order. We are the red team. I love red! I am the high 4 personality on the group. Everyone else seem to be a task person. That's cool. I think it will work out okay.

Going back to my room, I was really depressed. I really wanted to have a good cry. I felt more alone then I had ever. I didn't want to drink all night, I didn't want to talk about this project, I found I had very little in common with these people and I would not have chosen to be with them. Why? Because many of them seem very intolerant and self serving. Ya, we all want to get something out of the program, but everyone's ideas are good and we should be able to find a way to incorporate them into this. I wrote a bit more, figured out how to set the alarm on my phone, and went to sleep. I'll save the cry for later. Maybe I'll get a movie this week.

The best part of the weekend for me was after breakfast. We watched a film called "Celebrate what's right with the world" by Dewitt Jones. Here is an excerpt from the web site.

Dewitt Jones is one of AmericaÂ’s top professional photographers. During his twenty-year career with National Geographic, Dewitt lived the vision of "celebrating whatÂ’s right with the world." He found that the creative tools he employed as a photographer had an even deeper application when applied directly to his personal and professional life.
Celebrate What's Right With the World teaches Seven Key Concepts...
Believe it and you'll see it
Recognize abundance
Look for possibilities
Unleash your energy to fix what's wrong
Ride the changes
Take yourself to your edge
Be your best for the world

Reflection on the weekend?

People suck sometimes, including me

This has to help me grow, it is too painful not to.

I am no longer intimidate by the initials after some ones elcename'ses name.

I can do anything I set my mind to

I have room to grow

One last think- I got a call from the regionalal news paper. They are going to interview me about my experenice. I hope they ask good questions. I'd hate to have to tell them the truth!