Words

Yesterday, Zach found out his foregin exchange brother is bisexual. It happened how I knew it would happen-- at school.

Jim and I have been talking to him in more detail regarding sexuality the past week, once we found out that Julien was coming out to everyone-- not just a chosen few. I knew as soon as Julien came out, the cow-town-rumor-mill would take over, and the news would hit the school like a tsunami. It would be quick, powerful, and the warning sounds wouldn't alarm.

Zach came home from school. My husband and I were both home.
"Hey.. One of the boys at school told us that he is bisexual"
"How did that make you feel?"
"It's not a big deal, I just worry about how the jocks are going to react when they find out."
"Does it change how you think about this boy?"
"No, not really."
"Oh, and so and so said, that his brother said, my new brother is a bisexual too."
"I think you better talk with him about that."

I gave my husband the I told you so look. He gave me the ya I know your always right look.

Fast forward the clock, six hours later. It is now 9PM. The boys have spent the evening at play practice (Into the Woods) and they are in separate rooms. My hubby calls Zach into the ktichen where he says "didn't you have something you wanted to talk with your brother about?"
You can see Zach is a bit uncomfortable. Our new son spends most of the time with his eyes facing his mondern novel and film text book. The question is asked. There are aquaward smiles.

"Okay," Zach says -- squirming in the yellow 1950's chushed iced vinal chair.

"Okay," he replys-- stairing at the yellow formika table top.

And that is when Zach goes to his room to cry.

"I said some horibal things mom."
"I didnt know."
"He's going to hate me."

I, we, told Zach to go and talk to Julien. He wouldn't leave his room. "I just can't," he sobbed, "I was so mean. I just can't do this."

"Zach, you can't hide from the things you say and do. You just need to say what you need to say. "

Accept the forgivness. It is here.

We made his new brother go and talk to Zach. He told him, " It's not a big deal. It's okay."

The student left early this morning. He had Madgrials practice. Zach said he wished he could have said goodbye. Zach wanted to make sure it was okay.

I told him it is, because it is.

What a lesson to learn. Words hurt. Don't judge. People are people. We all bleed red.

Thanks Jim, for taking the time to talk with Zach to prepair him.
Thanks J for being honest with yourself and for trusting us.

***
Allen, as I wrote this, I thought of your playground post. I hope my son will forgive himself-- right now! I hope you will too.