Grandma, on her death bed, made me promise I'd get along with my sister. She was there dieing and she charged me to do two things, take care of all the grave sites and get along with my sister.
I've been able to do the first, even though I live 65 mile away. I manage to visit our ancestors at least two (but we try for four) times a year.
My sister is a bit more challenging. She it the only person I know that if I let my guard down, be myself, and say what is on my mind-- a fight ensues.
I think it's unfair. Because of a promise I made I have to deal with her. I feel obligated to shut my mouth- even thought she needs someone to tell her the truth.
It is so hard for me. I love her to death. I see her make all kind of decisions that I think, well, I think they are wrong. I start to try and say something. Some sisterly advise. Some advice from someone who has been in a bad marriage, and in a good one. Some advice from someone who shared the same messed up childhood. Some advice from someone who has two children. Some advise to help her avoid some of the mistakes we've all made.
But no; if I do that I am reminded of her Doctorate in special Education and then talked over and yelled at.
Well, before I blow-up I just say PANTS! (my kids gave me that phrase. They learned it at camp from a Brit councilor) I remember my grandmother in the hospital bed. I bite my lip to the point of bleeding and hope that keeping the promise is the best thing for my sister.
That is the bother, sometimes I think if she would just listen to some one who disagrees with her, she may learn a thing or two.
Or maybe not.
1 comment:
Maybe the best way to get along with her is to tell her what you feel- she'll be mad , but maybe , down the road, she'll thank you for the advice.
Or maybe not.
If you find the answer to this dilemma , write to me immediately , because it's bugging the PANTS! outta me.
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