F*ck the writers strike… I am on Wisteria Lane and I’ll let you know what happens next.

So, here is a picture of the tornado that was behind my home. If you remember the last two episodes of Desperate Housewives, there was twister—well guess what? Here in my little cow poke conservative town there was a twister too. Two miles further south, and our home would have been toast! Yep, that close.

My son, the boy scout, was working on a disaster drill for one of his merit badges. He came home from school at 3:15 and said “Mom, I think I’m going to be able to use my tornado drill today”

“Pssffftttt…no you wont, stop being so dramatic!”

At 3:27PM, the tornado siren sounded. My kids grabbed water, raisins, and breakfast bars. We went to our designated station, under the table in the south west corner of the basement. At 3:45PM, my husband gave us the all clear. He had checked the radar on line. The kids came up stairs to kitchen to unload the supply box back into the cabinet. That is when my son shouted “Shit, Mom get in here.”

You need to understand for my son to say the “S” word in front of me, in my house, with my name in the same sentence—well something is defiantly up.

It was actually my daughter who spotted it - the funnel cloud.

By the time I got into the kitchen, I could see the glow of a transformer as the cloud touched down. The air in the sky swirled and was drawn away from our house to the massive grayness that went from sky to ground. My daughter has a keen eye. It took my husband a while to see it, because it was so large. It almost seem to take up the whole sky, it was so close. It moved north rapidly, had it move south, I don’t know what would have become of us.

After all this, my son took great pride in saying “I told you so!”

I’m just going to make sure we grab the vodka next time too.

Then I watched Desperate Housewives, on the internet.

Come to find out I could write this stupid script because it is all happening here.

Now that you know about the life threaten events, let me tell you the gossip. And the names have been changed, but really it is all true!!!!

Side note--- I would just like to note that I usually don’t gossip. I really dislike it. I have been the subject of gossip and rumors more times then I care to mention. This stuff is just put here for the purpose of showing that truth is stranger than fiction and that it doesn’t take a “writer” to come up with this stuff, just a keen observer.

At a volunteer organization it is noticed that the treasure is missing. The president announces that he is on the waiting list for an organ donation. He is gravely ill.

At church one member of the congregation mentions to another “Have you seen Mr. Treasure? I hear he is bad shape.”

“He looked fine to me when I walked in on him with wife this morning”

Can you believe this news article about the wrestling game? They said the teem lost due to the fact that Star Player wasn’t here. It says here that Star Player is vacation in Europe with his family. Since when is a family vacation news?

The town of Lincoln has been evacuated due to a 6 car derailment. One of thee cars contains a chemical that could cause breathing distress. Many families stayed at the High School. It was over heard that one couple is going to sneak back into their home through the cornfield, because they forgot to bring the dogs. A dirt bike chase to ensue. I know there are helicopters circling the area now because of the rumored attempts.

Lady A had left her Lover and returned to her husband and children. After the trip to Cancun with her lover, she realized that even though he is older and wealthy, he does a great deal of drugs and drinking and may actually spend his money while he is still alive rather than leaving it to her. Hubby is happy to have her back. Lover is now looking for a new “secretary”.

Mrs. No is being persued by Mr. Married. Mr. Married wants Mrs. No to domniate him, because his wife won't. Mrs No continues to refuse his advances but wonders if she could use the infromation to blackmail him, but for what???

Mr. and Mrs. Paranoid have purchased a truck full of prunes. They feel they will be the wealthiest family in the world when the people from Planet Y come.

Dad comes for a vistit, and keeps complaining that his feet hurt. He can bairly walk by the end of his visit. Daughter is concerned and recomend taking him to the hospital, thinking it could be a sysmtem of something serious. Dad refuses. Within a week, daughter gets a call, dad has been admit to the hospital, possible heart condtion. Test to follow. Daughter is concerned.

Could I get paid for this???
I still need a job!