Exhale

Word came down yesterday. I start my new career in two weeks.

Very large company. Great benefits--- 401k, health insurance, tuition reimbursement.

I get to go home at 5 PM.

I can keep my real estate license.

I earn vacation after my first month.

The pay is GREAT!

I have been holding my breath for the past two weeks. Waiting to hear. I didn't write about the interview, or the fact my dad was in the hospital, or that he might be living here.

I didn't write about going to talk to my Pastor about my depression.

I didn't write about all the other stuff that I still wont write about until it is like 10 years from now... when it wont seem so close, so painful, so after school special.

I am going to have to change some things.

And I already have.
I have changed to an attitude of gratitude.
I am going back to reading my old books, I am working out again, I am waking up early. Improving myself so I can improve the world around me.

I am giving up some of my volunteer activities.

Working hours like the rest of the world does not allow me to work a blood drive in the middle of the week at this point. Maybe someday, I can organize a blood drive at my new place of employment. For now, some things will have to be the responsiblity of some one else. I need to take care of my family.

I hope to get back to being creative again.

I hope my happiness shows through.

For now, I am just going to enjoy the exhale.