I woke up to check my email and found this article on MSN
about allowing kids to drink legally at age 18.
The article is brief, you know-- teach them to be responsible and if they are allow them to drink legally with their parents at age 18.
Having a long line of alcoholics in my family, and 3 kids in the house, this really struck a nerve with me.
You see, about 1/2 of the teenagers I know drink. Now that is a small number that I really know. But those that do -- about 1/2 are allowed to by their parents.
Is it legal.. no.. and they risk alot if they get caught. Not like when i was a kid-- the cops--err law enforcement agents-- would take your beer and be on their way.
Today, drug testing and alcohol testing is a standard in our schools. It is there so kids can get help, I've been told. Funny, they never talk about testing the teachers on a regular basis.
Ok... so what should we do? Well, I think as parents we should teach our children the best we can. My kids have tasted wine, beer and champagne. Yep-- take me to court people! My kids have been drinking-- if you count a sip of my beer at a barbecue drinking!
I would much rather be open with my kids about alcohol and its effects and the responsibilities of drinking, then to let them figure it out on their own at college when I am not there.
My kids (I hope) know my husband and I don't drink and drive. they have seen me drunk and even sick from drinking once or twice. They have been to concerts and parties and cubs games were people drink too much and act like fools.
They have even been to weddings where people were drunk and high ----ohhh and the kids could tell!!! And you know what? They don't want to be like that.
Maybe it's because I grew up a bit fast with my dysfunctional family-- or maybe its because at 17 I had my own apartment, a job, and was paying for my own college
education, but i couldn't legally have a beer, or go out dancing with he other people from work-- I was too young and responsible.
Did I go? Oh ya.. I was the queen of phony id's-- but it was a lie.
My kids are undecided about drinking. The Swiss son can drink at home at age 16 (beer wine) and 18 for the hard stuff. He doesn't like the taste of most of the stuff, so he never has more than 1/2 of a glass of something-- to be social.
So I say let's educate our kids, lets be responsible to them, and if at 18 they want to drink beer or wine-- go ahead, if you have mom and dads permission. And if they don't? Well they probably will do it any way.
14 comments:
As a good parent we are responsible for how we bring our kids up and alcohol, smoking, unprotected sex etc are all a part of our duties but we can't hold their hands right through life can we?
Of course some parents would rather the kids struggle and find things out for themselves and its those kids that fall by the wayside. It's hard, but you can only do your best and it certainly looks like you're doing ok!
The drinking age is higher than the draft/enlistment age? That's crazy.
I shudder to think of the irresponsible drinking I did when I was sixteen. If I had been my parents, I wouldn't have let me out of the house until I was thirty, maybe thirty-one years old. I don't know how you do it. . .
The most shocking thing my mom ever did was when she caught me coming home at age 16 after the first night I'd been drinking. I told her the truth, and she said "okay" and went back to bed.
Later, the only rule my parents ever gave me was that I call them if me or my ride was ever too drunk to drive. And that was the end of it.
I don't even think that I would have handled it the same way if I had been in their place. I'd probably have grounded me for 10 years.
I have a 13 year daughter. I have 21 other teens in my THREE HILLS CREW group. I speak frankly, openly with them, more so with my daughter. My daughter,has been around alcohol all of her life. When she sees people that are drunk, she knows thats not the correct way to conduct ones self. Alcohol is a gift to be enjoyed legally and responsibly.
As far as drugs go...they're out because the truth is, they work! If they didn't make you feel good, no one would do them. Problem is that you don't wanna stop and the alter your life and can kill you.
Sex? DON'T!! The "stop unprotected sex bandwagen" is a copout,lie from people that make condoms. Condoms suck in the first place and they are not guarenteed to do what they are designed to do anyway! Putting on a rubber won't protect your mind or thoughts (LET ALONE YOUR BODY) later in life while you struggle with your wife/hubby during sex because you keep thinking of past partners.How is a rubber gonna help during oral sex anyway??? How often I went without in the past because I didn't have one with me. It was ok to have sex in my eyes, my folks eyes, my peers...why would I go without simply because I wasn't "prepared"?
ABSTAIN! Thats the only true Safe Sex!!! My daughter understands sex as a gift from God to be enjoyed by a committed husband and wife only...not her and some horny 15 year old boy...or girl.
Finally, behaviour modification never works, just look at our prisons or the Military for some botched examples of rehabilitation.
Love God, love your neibour.
Try that on for size!
I think that if kids are raised with alcohol as a part of meal times; watered down wine for example, as opposed to the getting drunk aspect, they learn that it's part of social and family life, not binging. That's my two penneth/centeth anyhoo :)
I love it when people think!!!
Thanks guys for your comments. I dont know what Im doing--- just trying to keep them alive I guess
I think the forbidden aspect of it, and our uptight attitude here in the US is behind many of the problems. We lived out of the country for over 12 years, all told, and the attitudes were just different around alcohol, and sex, for that matter. Kids didn't feel the need to "prove" anything for the most part, nor was there this big thing about keeping it secret from the parents. I think our puritanical attitude (as a whole) along with the whole media thing, which is the opposite end of the spectrum from puritanical, ends up accomplishing the opposite of what we want: alcohol (and sex) are seen as cool, forbidden, something parents don't understand -- bam, recipe for sneaking around and bad decisions.
Heres another thinky bit: In Canada, we can't buy beer etc. at gas stations or supermarkets. We have Government liquor stores with huge selections of everything, and private outlets with less selection, and of course, bars and neibourhood pubs that can sell "offsales".
Underage kids can't get booze from these "specific" outlets as easily as a local 7-11 or Conoco.
Perhaps thats a clue...train the staff at non-liquor outlets to be able to identify underagers or bootleggers buying for kids.
I know for me on our trip thru America last week, tons of available beer from different gas stations in different States was very tempting for me. I purchased some each day...and I'm quite responsible!
We grew up with alcohol.
Whiskey on our toothaches,a little peppermint schnapps for a tummy ache,and a small glass of Blackberry Brandy at Thanksgiving.
I think a big problem is all these newfangled and fruit flavored liqours that are only designed to get kids to drink.
I agree with Sling. These kids have it too easy these days with their soda poppy Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade, etc. When we were kids, we had to suffer with Southern Comfort like God intended.
I think you're totally right here. If something is really important, you have to be open about it. Otherwise they're not getting all the information and can't make proper decisions. Hugs to you for being such a cool mom!
Have a peek at this page from the BBC:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3123508.stm
My mom was always up front with us kids about everything from sex to drugs to drinking. Nothing was a big mystery. We could have wine if we wanted on special occasions or at Grandma & Grandpa's (we're Italian and they were from the old country). We knew all about sex from the time we were in grade school. During my senior year, she let me drink at home at our family Christmas party so I would know how much I could drink without getting sick, because she KNEW I'd want to drink before the senior grad night party. I think she'd hoped that I would get sick that Christmas, which I did. Before the party, she let me drink some rum and Cokes, which my brotherly only too eagerly made for me, to get me drunk, then drove me to the locked-in party. She told me if I ever wanted to smoke pot, to let her know and to do it at home, not out and about (this was in 1972 - I never did, but she did try it so she'd be informed - and she hated it). In that vein, I have let my kids have wine or a beer at home. I've told them they can always call if they need a ride, no questions asked, just don't ever drive drunk or get into a car with anyone who's been drinking. YS called his sister once when he was in high school. And he's partied a lot in college, but he's never gotten into a car when drinking or with anyone who's been drinking, or smoking, and is very adamant about that policy. Now that he's 21, he can do what he wants, but I think he's got a good foundation.
I think shielding your kids from reality is the dumbest things parents do. Let them see, maybe even "taste", real life while at home, where you have some influence, so they aren't shocked and unprepared when they go off on their own.
And I'm sorry, but I don't go for that "old enough to go to war, but not old enough to drink" argument. It's a non sequitur. One has nothing at all to do with the other.
Post a Comment