Tough couple of days.
My husband, I swearer, does just the opposite of what I ask him to piss me off and make me mad at him so he can tell everyone how horrible I am and how great he is for putting up with me. (OK, he never really does the second part to anyone but me--- but it sure fells this way when I'm in the thick of it)
My son, grabbed my old bluethoot ear piece off my desk. I cleaned my desk and noticed it was gone. My husband mentioned he saw it in Zach's room.
YOU WHAT???
Yeah, I was picking up socks and I saw it on his desk and picked it up.
AND YOU DIDN'T THINK IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MENTIONED TO ME? YOU DIDN'T STOP TO THINK IT YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT OUT OF THERE. YOU DIDN'T REMOVE IT FROM HIS ROOM?
Well, now because my son cleaned his room between now and then and guess what, it is missing. Actually i think it got tossed. Yes, I am mad at my son, but he did not really know what it was, my husband however...
SAW IT AND PICKED IT UP!!!!
Now if my husbands telescope lenses were in Zach's room, I would have had to question that. "Zach what is that doing in here?" or "Hubbie, did you know your lenses are in Zach's room?"
I feel that I receive no respect in this home. I may as well be a slave. Nothing I do or have is valued or respected. I work two job to give everyone here everything they need--- and I cant even have people leave my shit alone or watch out for my shit.
I haven't been running as much as I want. Well Ive been running, just not training runngin --I have to drive an hour to get to where everyone meets and there has been snow again. I am sick of snow, I am sick of having a family and feeling totally alone.
Today is my daughter's 12th birthday. She is going to Chicago to visit my friend, her "Auntie Jenny". I cant go, I have to work. Happy birthday to her.
I remember when she was little, everything made her happy and excited. Today, she whines at everything. Everything is an eye roll.
And could some one tell me how long is it okay to go without sex from your husband? Do woman always have to be the aggressors? ARRRRGGGGGGGGG
Okay, I'm going to do more laundry and go to my job and hope my day gets better.
I am reading your blogs, but as you can see my frame of mind is that of a timebomb ready to explode, so comment would come across the way I want them to.
By the way, why is it that when you try to really help people, they get to be ass holes. In my Real Estate gig... I am doing my best to help this guy with this house and every other word out of his mouth is suspicious and malicious. Geeesssss....
Okay time to make the donuts. Maybe I'll tell you about Easter one of these days.
------------------------------------------
Of course we all know it is not about a bluetooth or a sex or rolling eyes, it is about a constant feeling that I am loosing me for the sake of a world who could give less than a shit.
7 comments:
Girl, keep spilling it. There's nothing wrong at all with how you're feeling - and lord knows one of the reasons we have these here blogs is to let it loose.
Just don't forget to take a deep breath after your done. :)
When my kids were younger, and I was married,
I hated those days I felt unappreciated and taken for granted
You need a spa day
and slip sparky some viagra!
You can't have the glory without carrying the cross...
I've been dealing a lot with family lately and it has been tough going at times. Still, it is better than being alone.
As Dr. Phil would say, "You teach them how to treat you. If you ain't happy, teach them new lessons."
Thanks MG--- yoga class this week... or maybe shots, Im not sure which yet.
TK--- It's the 10th birhtday of Viagra today...hmmmmm
Dirk, it is true... they need some lessons... makes me wish i was a nun with a ruler.
I got nothin'.
Although I have to agree with Dirk on the whole setting expectations thing. Like, there was a time when everyone was dumping their crap on my desk because it was in the kitchen. It pissed me off because it seemed so inconsiderate and you know, treating me like I wasn't there or something. And it was inconsiderate but the fact is, all I had to do was say, rather sweetly, "Hey you guys, this is my desk and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't dump your crap on it" and they were all, "Oh! Sorry!" and it stopped. And yeah, maybe in a perfect world I shouldn't have to tell them stuff like that but I think that's the big mistake wives/moms make sometimes...we have this innate sense of justice that somehow translates into an assumption that they can read our minds and so we get pissed when they don't.
They are flawed creatures, our families. But sometimes we take that way too personally.
Oh. Looky. Guess I did have something.
As for the daughter, 2 words: boarding. school.
I have been through times like this, many times...it passes or if it doesn't you do somehting about it.
One thing I found though was that when I got myself onto a good brand (from the health food store) of High potency Vitamin B complex - not the shit stuff you get from chain stores... but good quality high potency ViB Complex (or executive stress b they call it sometimes ha ha) I found that I could handle stresses better and that the overwhelm of tears and emotion which would overcome me when things were not good, levelled a bit...just a bit but that bit helped me to cope with or change things... not in the was pharmaceuticals do but by supplementing nutritionally. They are not too expnsive here and I noticed a buig difference within a week...but thats me and we are all individuals...
Hey, Anna. Your sister here. You know my situation is the same as yours, but yesterday Kayli cuddled with me for 20 minutes. My ass is still huge but it's all good. Grandma put up with all of the same s(((( and I think it's just the De Angelis women's curse. Ryan doesn't think about anything but himself either. And you are amazing for going back to work at your age (no offense, please!) to do what you have to do for your family. I appreciate you. Love ya!
Post a Comment