When death enters our family there is a ritual to follow, and one of those rituals calls for scouring through boxes of old pictures to catch a glimpse of the life that is now gone.

You need to look through each folder, each file, each envelope -- just in case there your loved one is there in back ground sharing a moment or a smile.

While searching trough the pictures and reflecting back on the years I found a time when we were really connected to another family.

We have so many pictures with this other couple and their children.  Back yards barbecues, birthdays, snowmen, city trips -- you name it we did it together.

I remember spending many mornings at week day breakfast with the other mom. We would talk about the kids and the husbands and the plans for the weekends.  There were Friday nights of drinking way too much and Saturday mornings of -- "Hey, what are you up to tonight?"

Then something changed when the kids got in school.  I remember one of them said something in regards to the expectations of their children.  I can't remember exactly what it was that was said, but I remember it bothered me so much I had a talk with my husband about it.  It just seemed their expectations for their kids were different than those we had for ours.  

The kids started getting up in years in  school and their interests were also different.  So we drifted apart.  There was also a money into play.Money was always very important to them too.  Not in a negative way, just more so than it was with us.   Yep, as time went by, you noticed the differences in our families more than the similarities.   The friendship ended.  It wasn't a bad breakup, but I remember missing her.

I heard they are not doing so well anymore.  There was a nasty divorce, the kids kept getting into trouble at school and with the law.  There was talk of drugs and other nasty things between them. Some if it I know to be true, other stuff I think is just exaggerated.  It is very sad for them. They were are close friends.

I just finished reading The Other Wes Moore.  The situation with my fiends children and our children doing so differently made me pause and think of the story of the two Wes Moores.  Why are we okay and why are they not.  My gut was right about ending the friendship, but what did I see and why?  Thank God, my kids are striving, but theirs are struggling.  

We all make our choices.  We choose who to be, who to share that with, and when that should end.  Take your pictures folks.  Write your life story in memories and photos and when you can reflect on your decisions so you can make better ones in the future.