Faith Stuff

We had not been to church all summer. Sure, we teach Sunday School, but we had not actually gone to the Church part -- no communion, no service, not in a while.

When we went-- our pastor talked about a passage I was unfamiliar with. James 4.

You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Now I thought the only thing about having in this book was that lillies and birds thing and I was good with that-- but this was profound.

We have what we need. Food, a place to live, car to drive, health, clothing. The stuff I want to do is just stuff I want to do, not necessitates. It is about my pleasure and my enjoyment. I get that. Bummer -- I see the light. It is not a oncoming train.

Ok, so I go about my days and on Tuesday night, I hear the Boy Child singing and playing his guitar. He is off key. He is never off key. I sat there and I wished, and I prayed, that someday I could find a way to continue his voice lessons. I thought about how I could do it. Maybe I should contact some colleges students on break over the holidays, or maybe see if I could barter with someone. He has so much talent, but he is at that age where he needs some --- well he needs lessons---- and I don't know a hill of beans about music so I cant help.

Then, out of no where the call comes in yesterday. The voice instructor. I explain due to our finanical situation, there will be no lessons this year. I also explained the $110 I owed would come, in small chunks, over the year.

He then said to me, tell no one, but have your son come by for the next few Mondays, and we will see how things go. "But I cant pay you".

"I just want to hear him sing".

I asked, unselfishly, and I received, abundantly.

So yes God, I would like to win the lottery for my pleasures --- but Lord, you know, what ever I have is yours first. Really. I hate to admit it, and I hate to think I can't do this alone, but crap, I can't. Not all alone. And geess, you never leave me-- what the heck???? What do you see in me that keeps you hanging around?

I will end with a line from one of my favorite songs.....

You know, me and Jesus, we're of the same heart. The only thing that keeps us distant, is that I keep fucking up.

Peace everyone. And don't forget to ask!