Yes, I've been a bad blogger and I am worse for it.

So many complicated emotions. So many thoughts and opinions that I am keeping bottled up. Waiting for an escape.

I haven't had the motivation. I've only worry and fatigue and a life more ordinary than I want at this point.

But I know my thoughts are things. So I'm thinking of hope and spring and a new day.

But I'm also thinking of a past. Of things and places and people gone by.

I received word today that a friend from HS died. Tony Soto. I just found him-- or rather he just found me --- on face book.

He wrote one lil "what's up" and I didn't hear from him. I even called him a wanker-poser (as was the name given to people who acted like wanker posers) for not getting back to me and letting me know how he was.... what I should have done was given him my number and see if he wanted to meet for dinner or a drink. I hope not to make that mistake again.

I just had dinner with an old friend recently. I drank too much and said think I swore I would never say--- and now more than ever I am glad I did.

Life is to short to be bitter or to hold in you feeling or to be unhappy. Could you imagine living ever day saying should have would have could have? I can't.

I will dance and sing off key and I will run and I will fall and in the end I can say--- and you all can say--- she lived life fully and shared that fullness of life with everyone she knew. That is what I want my legacy to be. My friend Tony's legacy will be that of a talented artist who could always make me laugh by pointing out the obvious.

A girlfriend wrote me this week and wants to meet for dinner --- I just sent her a text to say yes. As a Vet from the Iraqi War, she has more things going one in her life than I could imagine --- and when I look at my problems I should be on my knees grateful for what I have.

Call that old friend today guys. Check in on an ailing relative. Send a card to someone who may need a pick-me-up.

LIVE LOVE LAUGH